Capsule Reviews, Larry King-Style

R.E.M. used to be one of my absolute favorite bands. I've seen them three times. In the last few years, though, not only have I not bought their last few cds, I can't even listen to their newer songs on the radio - their new song, "Leaving New York" is no exception. They commit the ultimate musical sin: boredom.

Bowling For Soup sounds like they fit right into the goodcharlotteblink182sum41simpleplannewfoundglory pattern of indistinguishable pseudo punk rock bands, but I have to give them credit for one of the catchiest songs and funniest videos of the year with "1985." (Slight critique: I'm fairly sure that Blondie was no longer happening by 1985). Any band with a four hundred pound lead guitarist who calls himself Yngwie Van Halen is okay by me. And they sing the "Jimmy Neutron" theme.

Snow Patrol very much wants to be Coldplay, judging by the one song I've heard. I do like the song, though.

Gretchen Wilson should probably invest her money wisely.

Big & Rich seem crass and commercial in concept ("Hey, let's combine country and rap" - you had to see that coming....), but their cd is better than I would have imagined. John Rich is having the last laugh after being told that he was crazy for leaving wimpy country popsters Lonestar. One song on the cd reminds me of Hall & Oates (which, to me, is a good thing). Like Gretchen Wilson, though, they should probably save their money.

The Killers keep being referred to as "the new Duran Duran," which is not a positive thing. Still, "Somebody Told Me" is catchy is hell and I turn it up when it comes on.

KoRn's remake of "Word Up" seems rather pointless to me, but their cover of "Another Brick In The Wall" fits perfectly with Jonathan Davis's usual "I-hate-my-father" theme.

Britney Spear's remake of "My Prerogative" is also pointless - "Why don't they just let me be?" indeed. I wish "they" would. Here's hoping that her recently announced "break" is a lengthy one.

Switchfoot - I look at the Christian rock charts and then at the secular Rock Charts and I see a lot of the same bands. What exactly makes a band a Christian rock band if their lyrics don't seem to mention God, Jesus, religion in general, etc.? Evanescence got tagged with that label (mainly because they were on Creed's Wind-Up label) until their former guitarist/ songwriter Ben Moody stated in "Entertainment Weekly" that they didn't want to be known as a "fucking Christian band." Their cd disappeared from the Christian charts after that.

Scissor Sisters seem to me to be the second coming of Dexy's Midnight Runners.

U2's "Vertigo" rocks harder than anything they've done in a long time. Too bad they are using it to shill for iPod.

Maroon 5 are this year's Hootie & The Blowfish and they need to invest wisely, also.

Keane - I've only heard a couple of songs by these guys, but I like the songs - especially "Somewhere Only We Know". This is a great pop song; the singer sounds a lot like Eric Carmen (who led the Raspberries before he became Barry Manilow). The keyboard/drum/ no guitar gimmick has been tried before, though (Ben Folds Five) and has proven to be very limiting.

Nickelback sucks.

LL Cool J's "Headsprung" is an extremely catchy song - I crank this one up.

Nelly f Tim McGraw "Over And Over" - Why?

MTV Jams, MTV Hits, VH1 Soul, VH1 Country, and VH1 Hits are the best argument to me currently for digital cable over the Dish or DirecTV - and I had DirecTV for 7 or 8 years. These channels play videos ONLY - no annoying programs - and don't even have commercials. They are like MTV circa 1981-82. I frequently record blocks of programming overnight on the computer and then burn DVDs of only videos that I like. Very cool.